


Casual Danger Dialogue for Beginners

by misura



Category: Jurassic Park (1993)
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I have to ask," Alan said, "are you babbling like this because you're working up your nerve, or because you don't want to let on to the fact that you've lost it entirely?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Casual Danger Dialogue for Beginners

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Casey_Wolfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casey_Wolfe/gifts).



_Note to self,_ Ian thought, staring up at the fence that had previously looked like plenty of protection against a tyrannosaurus rex, _next time, if invited to a mysterious theme park in exchange for a lot of money, decline politely._

At the moment he was less than sure he'd actually be in any position to put this bit of wisdom into practice. Still, it never hurt to prepare oneself for the best possible outcome, which was that he would, in fact, get off this island alive and in one piece and in a perfect position to write another best-seller.

Marriage might be fun to try again, too, for a while. Say, six, seven months.

"Most people, when asked, will tell you they'd prefer to die in bed, in the company of someone beautiful from the opposite sex," he said. "At a ripe age. Eighties, nineties, thereabouts."

Grant - or Alan, maybe, given that they were about to die together - didn't even look up from what he was doing. A man with focus, clearly, if also a slight lack of manners.

"I guess most people are inconsiderate assholes." _That_ got a reaction, at least.

"How do you reckon that?" Alan grabbed one of the flares.

"Would _you_ want to be in bed with a dead person?" Not the most cheerful of topics, really. Given that they were both in the same boat, so to speak, now might be a good moment to say something a bit more uplifting. Inspiring, even. "Is that going to work?"

"I hope so," Alan said. Clearly, he hadn't gotten the memo about the need for a rousing pep talk. "If you have a better idea, I'm all ears."

_I'm a chaos theoretician,_ Ian thought, but didn't say out loud. _Ideas for practical solutions to dinosaur emergencies are not my strong suit._ They probably weren't Alan's, either. Man just dug up old bones and fossils for a living; that hardly qualified him as any kind of behavioral expert.

_The ever-wide divide between theory and practice._

"Also: gay people don't take part in these surveys?"

It took Ian a moment to put that comment in its proper context. Imminent death clearly did not improve his mental capabilities, which was a pity. One would think evolution to have dealt with such a blatant and potentially extremely fatal flaw in human design.

"Good point," he said, and that, of all things, got Alan to turn his head and look at him.

"I have to ask," Alan said, "are you babbling like this because you're working up your nerve, or because you don't want to let on to the fact that you've lost it entirely?"

Ian considered taking offense. Demanding pistols at dawn felt a bit silly, though, considering their current circumstances. "If I lose my nerve, you'll know it. I'm a screamer."

Alan's lips curved. "Bit too much information there, don't you think? Given that we've only met less than a week ago."

"I like to move fast," Ian said. "Cut to the chase, that sort of thing."

"Right." Alan snorted. "I wondered what it was you were doing with Ellie back there in the car. Cutting to the chase, huh? Good job. That was definitely a quick and efficient way of establishing your interest in making her the what was it again? The future ex-Mrs Malcolm?"

"I really hate it when people use my own words against me," Ian said. It was one of the (many) disadvantages of being on the New York Times's best-seller list; everyone and their ten-year-old seemed to want to quote your own words at you and expect you to know from which chapter they'd gotten it.

(The ten-year-olds were all right, really. Fun, kind of. It was their _parents_ Ian generally found hard to treat politely enough to ensure they'd buy his next book, too.)

"Maybe you should talk less, then." Alan continued rummaging about. Still looking for the box marked _'If attacked by a dinosaur, smash glass and press button'_ , apparently.

"I don't like the quiet."

The obvious reply would be that _Alan_ might talk for a while - he was a scientist, after all, and the author of a book of his own, even. Not a best-seller, Ian didn't think, although honestly, he hadn't paid any particular attention. His own success was a matter of some interest to him, naturally, but taking too much of an interest in the success of others seemed a good way to get either depressed or big-headed.

"You don't? I thought you said you liked kids. Enough to have three of them, at least."

"It's not the same," Ian said. It wasn't, either, although it was tricky to put into words why, exactly, that was. "How about you? Peace and quiet, or would you rather be at a rock concert?"

"Rocks, in my experience, are very quiet," Alan said.

Ian considered faking a chuckle, then decided not to bother. "Right."

"I thought I might die in my sleep," Alan said. "Old and lonely, but content with my life's accomplishments."

"Well, you already got a book with your name on the cover out there. Some people would call that a pretty big accomplishment."

Alan looked out of the car window. Plenty of things moving out there. Hard to tell what they were, though, in this kind of weather.

_Note to self: next time you go outside, check the weather forecast first._ Not that an umbrella would have done him much good here, but there was 'taking a chance' and then there was 'suicidal behavior', and wandering around in a park full of dinosaurs in the middle of a tropical storm definitely qualified as the second, in Ian's expert opinion.

"If those two kids make it back to safety, it'll be worth it," Alan said.

Heroism: not something evolution ought to have left within the species, really. Logically, it should have gotten bred out of the human race ages ago.

Ian was not a hero, and he knew it. If he saw a building on fire, he'd call the fire brigade, not try to put out the fire himself - and he definitely wouldn't go running inside to check for survivors.

"Agreed," he said, reaching for one of the flares.

"Not looking to die in bed at the ripe age of ninety and in the company of someone beautiful then?" Alan said, a little bit too casually.

Good to know Ian wasn't the only one without any second thoughts here.

"Figured I'd settle for one out of three," he said. "Fancy a drink, later?"

"Done," Alan said, and opened the car door.


End file.
